When Cruelty Becomes “An Opinion”

By Dr. Abeer Alkady

Disagreement used to be a normal part of human relationships. Today, however, it often turns into a harsh test of character. We disagree, so we hurt. We get angry, so we expose. We criticize, so we break others, and then we call all of this honesty, strength, or the courage to speak the truth.

But the truth is that much of what we see today is not strength. It is a failure to control the self. It is not clarity. It is cruelty dressed up as an opinion.

In our daily lives, at home, at work, on social media, and even in simple family conversations, it has become very easy for people to become quick judges. We hear one side of a story and issue a full verdict. We see one mistake and reduce a person to it. We disagree with someone and suddenly forget every moment of respect, affection, or history that once existed between us.

This is where the real danger begins: when we lose the ability to see the whole person, and see only their mistake.

None of us is without weakness. None of us has lived a life free of regret. None of us truly knows what others are carrying inside: fear, pressure, disappointment, exhaustion, or silent pain. That is why kindness has always been a sign of awareness, not weakness. And why pausing before judgment is a sign of maturity, not hesitation.

Cruelty may win a moment, but it does not build a relationship. It may silence the other person, but it does not convince them. It may give the person using it a temporary sense of power, but it leaves behind a long trail of hurt and bitterness.

A mature person does not need to wound others in order to prove they are right. They do not need to raise their voice for their argument to be stronger. They do not take pleasure in embarrassing people, because human dignity is not a stage on which to prove oneself.

We need to redefine strength in our lives. Strength is not answering harm with greater harm. It is the ability to control oneself in a moment of anger. It is not winning every argument. It is knowing when silence is more graceful than speech. It is not exposing the weaknesses of others. It is helping them rise without humiliating them.

This does not mean justifying mistakes, staying silent about injustice, or allowing anyone to cross our boundaries. Mercy does not cancel firmness. Kindness does not mean surrendering one’s rights. But there is a great difference between setting a boundary with respect and taking revenge in the name of dignity. There is a great difference between rejecting a behavior and insulting an entire human being because of it.

Our communities, whether in Canada, the Arab world, or anywhere else, need a calmer and fairer language. A language that understands that people do not change through shouting. They do not review themselves under humiliation. They do not become better when they feel cornered, shamed, and rejected.

Sometimes the most beautiful thing we can offer others is not the perfect advice or the correct judgment, but a safe space where they are allowed to be human: to make mistakes, to learn, and to return without fear of mockery or public humiliation.

In the end, a person’s humanity is not measured by how they speak when they are pleased. It is measured by how they behave when they disagree. Character does not truly appear in moments of comfort. It appears in moments of anger, conflict, disappointment, and pain.

We must pay attention: when cruelty becomes a habit, no one truly wins. What remains are people who know how to wound one another, but no longer know how to return to each other with the same tenderness they once had.

Kindness is not a moral luxury. It is a human necessity. And whoever does not learn how to disagree with mercy may eventually lose even those who love them.