Give Me the Nay and Sing

By Omaima Abdel Aziz

It grows in silence within the womb of being, slipping into our blood until it becomes a whole world we live inside. There is no time there, no logic, no past and no future, only a present moment, and before it and after it, nothing but mist.

He was sitting on the seashore, seeing nothing before him except the worries of life dancing in his eyes, when a familiar voice pulled him in, singing words that circled through his mind every day: Give me the nay and sing.

He followed the sound and looked all around him, but saw nothing except waves, clouds, then silence. A moment later, the voice returned, stronger than before. He found her sitting beside him, looking into his eyes, a delicate smile resting on her soft lips.

He began to sing with her, and it was as if nature itself were about to play music for them. She left her place and began to run right and left, spinning in circles, laughing, pulling his hand so he would dance with her, until the sun went down and their laughter did not.

Adnan woke to the sound of her laughter. He smiled. He could hardly believe that he, the composed young man working in a diplomatic position, had been dancing and singing on a public beach with a girl he had never seen before.

She spent the whole day thinking about what she had seen. It was a strange dream, yet it had felt real. How did he not remember me? Had I changed that much?

Another exhausting day passed. He sat on the balcony overlooking the gardens, hoping to feel some ease. Her laughter was still alive inside him. Every now and then, he closed his eyes.

He saw her again, reaching out her hand to him, drawing him toward the soft sand. They rolled across it like children, their bare feet sinking into it. Soon the moon caught up with them, and the whole world settled under a silver light, while the lamps of the sky shimmered above.

He asked her, “Am I losing my mind?”

She said, “Why? You are strange. Why would you say that?”

He said, “Every time I think of you, I find you before me. I do not feel like a stranger to you. Perhaps we shared another life once. But what is this mist that covers my memory?”

She said, “Do not trouble yourself. Live the moment before it too becomes a mirage, like the past.”

The shepherd of the stars came quickly and gathered up the curtain of night. Morning woke heavily. She looked beside her as she yawned, then stretched her arm toward his chest. He held her, and they closed their eyes over their happiness.

“Adnan, my love, it is getting late. I made your coffee. The children woke up and left for school a little while ago.”

“Maram, my love, I will not go to work today. I am going to visit my mother. I have missed her so much.”

I am tired of work. Meetings, press, the noise of the city, fabricated feelings. Even my smiles, I draw them as if I were putting makeup on my face. I long for a holiday by the sea, far away from people. Hypocrisy is suffocating me.

“You, a coincidence again? Have you come escaping those many colored faces?”

“Yes, Adnan, but today is different. The butterfly has grown silken wings. Hold on to me, I will take you to the cave of clouds.”

“Maram, how did wings grow from you? Are you serious?”

He held her tightly, and they left the earth. She flew him over the water until they reached the clouds. Cold drops touched his face. At the top of the clouds, they found a cave lit by moonlight. They sat there for a long time and spoke of everything. Before sunrise, they descended again to the world below.

In an important meeting with politicians and businessmen, Adnan pulled out his phone. Silence filled the room as everyone searched for the source of Fairuz’s voice: Give me the nay and sing.

They looked at him in surprise. He sat there relaxed, eyes closed, floating inside the words of the song. When he noticed their silence, he straightened in his seat, turned off the phone, and began to speak.

“Perhaps I do lose my mind often, but at least I am alive. As for you, from the moment your mothers gave birth to you, you hurled your hearts and minds into nothingness. Life is not here, in the middle of all this falsehood. Life is there, far from the pollution human beings have left behind in their foolishness and immaturity. Strip yourselves of those masks before you return to dust.”

Maram, where are you? I need a place to hide. Hold me in your arms for whatever remains of life, and pour the radiance of your soul into me, O cave of clouds.