When the Heart Feels Lost

By Inas Sabri – Psychological Counselor

 In life, there are moments when all our experience seems useless. We feel shocked, lost, and weighed down by thoughts and emotions that are bigger than our ability to handle them. Sometimes we do not even know how to explain what is happening inside us, or who we can talk to.

And perhaps the hardest part is that pain can reveal things we did not want to see.

We may discover that some of the people closest to us are physically near, yet emotionally far away. We can reach out and hug them, but somehow "the hug itself hurts," because it does not give us the safety or understanding we were hoping for.

At other times, we may have loving people around us, but we are the ones expected to stay strong. Everyone looks to us for support and reassurance, while deep inside we are wishing for just one person we can turn to and say, "I'm tired."

Then we grow older.

We reach a point where there may no longer be an older, stronger person we can run to and say, "Please help me." We become the adults everyone else depends on, and it can begin to feel as though we are no longer allowed to fall apart.

That is why I believe a truly fortunate person is someone who has even one person in their life with whom they can simply be themselves.

It may be a friend, a sibling, a partner, a relative, or even someone brought into our lives by unexpected circumstances. Sometimes one honest moment of connection can create a closeness that years of another relationship never managed to build.

Because real support is not always about giving advice, and it is not about constantly trying to fix someone.

Sometimes it is simply about being there.

It is having someone who knows how to truly listen. Someone who understands when words are needed and when silence is the kinder response. Someone who does not minimize what you are feeling, compare your pain with someone else's, or rush you to move on simply because your sadness makes them uncomfortable.

During difficult times, our emotions can feel like a lost child who does not know where to go or how to calm down.

Our view of life can suddenly become very narrow, as if we are looking at the world through the eye of a needle. Even our own mind can become another source of fear, replaying what happened, imagining the worst, and convincing us for a while that what we are going through will never end.

But one thing we often cannot see while we are standing inside the pain is that no stage of life stays exactly the same forever.

Days pass. Circumstances change. Life opens doors we could not see before. Things may not return to the way they were, and we may not return as the same people either.

Some experiences change us from the inside.

The eyes of the heart become kinder, our view of life becomes simpler, and many things that once felt so important lose their power over us.

My advice to anyone going through a difficult period is simple: do not carry all of it alone. Talk. Share what you are feeling with the right person.

And if you cannot find that person in your life, there is nothing wrong with seeking support from a therapist, counselor or mental health professional who can help you through the difficult stage.

Because when we are in pain, we do not always need someone to solve our life for us.

Sometimes we just need someone to help us see that what we are going through is a stage, not the end of the road.